What practical strategies can help us reduce phone usage and establish healthy boundaries?
Does someone need to stop usage fully or can partial solutions be effective?
What behaviors can we change in as little as thirty days? Does it last?
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עיין פירוש תוספות שנץ בגליון הגמרא בשם ר״ת, כמו שטבע המצריים כדי להציל את ישראל גם הורג בעלה של זה שתהא ראויה לינשא לזה, (הגמרא נקט שאיירה בזיווג שני), ואגב ע״פ דבריו מובן מה שכותב הרמב״ם בהלכות יסודי התורה שהצורך של קריעת ים סוף היה כדי להטביע המצריים, והוא ענין אחד עם הצלת ישראל, וזהו גם ענין פרנסה שכל עיקרה שמפרנסים זה מזה
Chazal compare zivug and parnassah to Krias Yam Suf, the splitting of the sea, a comparison that at first seems counterintuitive. Marriage and livelihood appear to be about coming together, while the defining feature of Yam Suf is separation. Rabbi Yechiel Zweig explains that the key element of Yam Suf was not the separation itself, but its purpose. The sea split in order to allow two sides to eventually reach their destination. The division was a necessary stage that created a clear, protected path leading toward connection. In this sense, separation is not the opposite of union, but the means by which it is achieved.
This idea helps explain the teaching that forty days before a child is born, it is decreed that this one will marry that one. If the match is predetermined, why do people experience so much uncertainty, delay, and apparent randomness in finding a spouse? The answer is that, like Yam Suf, destined connection requires prior separation. Each individual must grow, mature, and develop independently, often in very different circumstances, before the moment arrives when their paths can intersect. The distance is not a contradiction to the decree; it is the mechanism that makes the eventual meeting possible.
The same structure applies to parnassah, which Chazal closely associate with one’s wife. The Sages teach that one who honors his wife will merit wealth. This principle is rooted in the consequences of the sin of Adam and Chava. Chava was punished with pain in childbirth and subjugation, while Adam was punished with the burden of earning his livelihood through exhausting labor. When a husband honors his wife, he diminishes the effects of her punishment, and through the principle of middah k’neged middah, Hashem correspondingly lightens his struggle to earn a living. As a result, parnassah comes with less strain and greater blessing. Wealth, in this sense, is not merely financial success, but the easing of effort and anxiety.
So the splitting is a requirement for ultimate coming together, just like Egypt wanted to drown the children to avoid being punished, as Hashem said it will not flood the world, therefore avoid being punished by the water, the splitting was precisely to bring that outcome together.
