מי אנכי שאזכה להתפלל – The Halachos and beauty of Tefillah – The decorum in Shul

Dear Dovid Lichtenstein,
I want to express my appreciation for your thought-provoking podcast discussions. Your recent episode on Jewish prayer raised some interesting points that I’d like to share.

A few years ago, during one of my visits to my rebbi (though I’ve been out of yeshiva for many years), I witnessed an incident during Mincha. When a student was reciting Kaddish, my rebbi interrupted him, and said to a boy who was talking during תפילה “I understand that you may not care about God, but at least show respect to your friend who is saying Kaddish. Talking in shul is more of a issue of בן אדם לחברו, as Rabbi Akiva how his students treat each other that caused the deaths, its may not be how our relationship with GD but its about how we respect others and to be aware of the people around us. Which includes those who daven out loud or shake heverly. We need to be less concerned with how we want others to perceive our selves and be more concerned how we affect others.

Your guest’s responses in your podcast episode reminded me of a conversation I once had with Rabbi Benj Levin, the grandson of Rabbi Aryeh Levin (whom you should consider inviting as a guest on your podcast, given his unique insights). He shared an observation with me, saying that sometimes we become so engrossed in Halacha that we tend to overlook the essence of the Mitzvah.

The real question that emerges is how we react when others don’t conform to what we may understand or practice. It leads us to ponder whether our understanding of avodat Hashem could be wrong, and whether others, with different approaches, might also be right in their own avodat Hashem. It should force us to consider how to navigate the path when someone has walked in different shoes or experienced life differently. These are questions that challenge us to be more aware.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, as we switched from תפילה בציבור to תפילה ביחד, many of us found a deeper connection through intimate home prayer. There were many conversations regarding how we felt more connected with הקדש ברוך הוא. One person discussed how, as a Rabbi, he, his little girl, and wife were davening together, and he was able to Daven and teach his young daughters תפילה. If it were not for the pandemic, both he and his daughters would have never had that experience.

My take is that תפילה בציבור is primarily about the ציבור. It’s about caring for our neighbors, asking about their well-being, and being a supportive community. It’s about recognizing that every individual’s journey in avodat Hashem is unique, shaped by their experiences, background, and understanding, and being part of a community.

Your last guest, I applauded for his honest effort to get people to stop talking. I think we need to be careful about promising what תפילה can do. We also should not be using תפילה as a tool to raise money with promises. To quote Rabbi Lord Sacks on ראה נה ריביינו, we ask Hashem to give us the strength to get through our challenges. If we believe that God knows everything, God is doing what’s in our best interest. Do we want to change God’s mind? We don’t always know what to ask for.

I recommend a podcast on תפילה, the Orthodox conundrum titled “when GD says no”! Unfortunate story of a mother who lost a son and her daughter-in-law gave birth to a grandson days after.

Also, you had a person on when you were discussing translating; your guest was discussing the actual meaning of the word ברוך. I am very far from understanding דיגוק, but over the past few years, I have come to appreciate דיגודק, which can give a different meaning and understanding of תורה and תפילה. To quote Rav Ahron Lichtenstein, how can we have a rabbi who doesn’t understand basic understanding of דיגודק.

Thank you once again for your inspiring podcast that encourages us to contemplate these important aspects of our faith.