Shidduchim

11/15/24 - SHIUR 489 (16,186 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

How long should you date before getting engaged? How long does it take to get to know the other person?

What should be the goal of dating?
What are the minimum interactions required by Halacha before engagement and marriage?
What’s the downside of going too quickly? Of going too slowly?
How clear do you need to be about what you are looking for in advance of dating?
What are some great ways to get to know the other person?

05/23/24 - SHIUR 468 (16,764 Downloads)

Conflict with the In-Laws – what causes it, how to deal with it

How do you handle a conflict between honoring in-laws and honoring your own parents?
Are there times that married children need to listen to input from in-laws?
Are there halachos about what to call your in-laws?
What does a mother-in-law do when she sees deficiencies in her daughter-in-law
Are there typically father-in-law issues, and if so, what?
What are healthy boundaries, and how do you establish them?

03/21/24 - SHIUR 461 (21,302 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

Everyone should be a shadchan – how to set up a shidduch

Should each of us be setting up Shidduchim?
What are the biggest challenges and difficulties?
Is the “shadchanus” fee only paid to a professional Shadchan, or even to beginners?
What does the Shadchan need to do to earn the fee?
Can you set up two non-observant Jews? One frum and one not frum? Two non-Jews?
What advice do professional Shadchanim have for amateurs?

02/08/24 - SHIUR 454 (23,566 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

Getting over our fears – in dating, marriage, religious observance, of failure and more

What are the most common fears that people have?
How do we get over those fears?
What is “Jewish Mindfulness” and how can it help?
What are the most common fears in dating and marriage?
Can anxiety or OCD ever make a person patur from mitzvos?
Is it permitted to take experimental/homeopathic/Chinese medication treatments?

04/14/23 - SHIUR 415 (22,622 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

Is it good or bad that many young men don’t have a “plan” for parnassah? Should they have one?

Should young men in yeshiva develop a plan for parnassa? If so, when?
Does having a parnassa plan also apply to those going into teaching and rabbanus?
Is “I want to learn” enough of a plan?
Does having a plan apply to young women?
Do girls in shidduchim ever ask “does he have a plan”?
Do boys in shidduchim ask: “does she have a plan for supporting a family” or “does her family have money”?

03/16/23 - SHIUR 412 (22,970 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

What makes for Effective Dating?

Is it okay to date two pepole at the same time?
Can you test your date’s middos, and if so, to what extent?
What should be the goal of dating?
What is the most important thing for a person to do when dating? Is love necessary?
Is choosing from pictures and photo albums/catalogs effective in choosing who to date?
What are current trends in dating? What types of singles events are being held?
Are friends helpful or hurtful in getting dating advice?

01/27/23 - SHIUR 405 (24,824 Downloads)

Whom should you marry?

How Makpid should we be on names in marriage (father in law and son in law with the same names etc)?
Can younger siblings get married before older siblings?
Marrying for money?
How important is the family (if there’s a sibling off the derech etc)?
Marrying into a family of Baalei Teshuvos?
Health in the family what do you have to divulge?
How should people be dating?
What common mistakes are they making?
How do you know if you are getting bad advice?

05/07/22 - SHIUR 369 (31,098 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

What makes a successful marriage? What are common mistakes that should be avoided?

What’s the most important ingredient to have a successful marriage?
What are significant issues that are easy to resolve? What are some common mistakes that spouses make?
What can boys and girls in Shidduchim – or even earlier – do to prepare for a successful marriage?
What should be done when a couple hits turbulence during marriage?
How to handle disagreements over: money, having additional children, conflicting minhagim, where to send kids to school and more

12/04/21 - SHIUR 348 (26,572 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

Why do some people lie, or cover up information, when being a shidduch reference? What happens when information is not disclosed and the couple gets married?

What needs to be disclosed (e.g., having a colorful background, health problems, addictions)?
When and by whom?
How should we respond to shidduch inquiries when asked?
Should references disclose everything? Can they lie?
Are people typically lax in disclosing?
Do certain segments of Judaism fail to disclose more than others?
Can things be patched up when problems are discovered after marriage?

08/28/21 - SHIUR 336 (28,122 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

Shidduch Research – How much should be researched before agreeing to a shidduch?

What’s researched in advance by the parents, and what’s left for the boy and girl to figure out?
What specific questions should be asked? What can’t be asked? What must be asked? Who should – and should not – be asked?

12/14/19 - SHIUR 250 (39,748 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

“Quick Divorces” after marriage. Why are they happening? Can they be avoided?

Why are “quick divorces” happening? What’s a good reason to get divorced quickly? Is “incompatibility” enough? What needs to be disclosed while dating? Addictions, mental disorders, abuse? How should references respond to Shidduch inquiries?

11/23/19 - SHIUR 247 (28,260 Downloads) Hosted By: Rabbi Ari Wasserman

“Broken Engagements” in Halachah, Hashkafah and Psychology

Why are there so many broken engagements nowadays? How can they be avoided? Does the one who breaks the shidduch get penalized? Do the ring, sheitel and other gifts need to be returned? Who pays the costs which were committed to (wedding hall, photographer, band, make-up artist)? Does the Shadchan need to return the Shadchanus?

07/23/16 - SHIUR 75 (3,486 Downloads)

Shailos and Teshuvos with Rav Moshe Shternbuch

Can a pregnant woman who contracted the Zika virus abort?

Tzedakos that give promises for people who donate.

Grama switch on Yom Tov, is it permissible?

May one switch a shachan in middle of a shidduch? Which one does he have to pay?

Is it permitted for a man to wear a watch?

Is the murex the correct tcheilis? Should one wear it Msafeak?

Can a woman recite Kaddish from the ezras Nashim?

The status of DNA in Halachah.

Chizuk to children who have been molested.

 

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